If you are looking for my blog titled, The Contemplative Catholic Convert, you are at the right spot.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

With a Kiss?

Are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss? (Luke 22:48).

For thirty pieces of silver, the Great Pretender promised to lead the soldiers to Jesus. “The one whom I kiss,” he told them, “He is the one. Seize him, and take him away.”

Judas entered the garden and immediately approached the one he’d so often called his friend and lord. He brought his lips to Jesus' cheek. Meanwhile, soldiers in the periphery watched for the signal.

For three years, Judas had fooled the other eleven. For three years he’d hidden his thoughts behind pious words and good deeds. No one knew his heart. No one, of course, but Jesus.

I think of that some days when I approach my Lord in the most holy Eucharist. I bring His body to my lips, His blood to my mouth. And sometimes I worry that, as St. Paul warned Timothy, I turn, by degrees, from the appearance of godliness to denying Him. I worry that, as the apostle wrote to Titus, I profess God to others, but by my actions betray Him. I worry that I pray with my mouth, but not with my heart, the words of the psalmist, “Let those who wait for you, Lord of hosts, not be shamed through me. Let those who seek you, God of Israel, not be disgraced through me (Psalm 69:7).

Jesus asked Judas, “Are you betraying the Son of Man with a Kiss?”

Yes, from time to time I worry about my motives, my hidden sins – hidden even from myself – as I approach my Lord in the bread and wine. Which is why, now that I think about it, which is why I take the time – I make the time – to pray, study the Scriptures, and be scrupulous about my confession of sins. I never want to be found by Him having pious words and good deeds – but my heart is far from Him. 

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