If you are looking for my blog titled, The Contemplative Catholic Convert, you are at the right spot.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I Tremble to Think

How sweet are Your words to my taste!
Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
(Psalm 119:103)
 
 
Every so often
and now and again
I’m challenged to my core
to question,
even doubt
the historical, spiritual and
the unalterable truth
of holy scripture.

I’m challenged to be guarded,
suspicious, hesitant,
lest its God-breathed
warnings and promises,
exhortations and challenges,
prove to be simply symbols and stories,
analogies and metaphors
of deeper truths known only
to the schooled.
 
And I wonder almost aloud,
is the Book all true,
or only part?
And if only part,
which part?
Have I set my course on a misleading path?
Have I lived as a Christian for 40 years
following myths and cleverly devised tales?
 
That’s where I was only days ago,
as I struggled with those musings wrenching my faith,
when I opened that Book to read my routine reading
and found the place I’d left off only the day before.
 
As I drank in the words,
the Holy Spirit hovered around me.
And touched me.
Physically.
He touched me.
My eyes watered as I read instruction
directed specifically at me
at that moment:

You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from [your earliest days of walking with Christ] you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

Glory to God!
Oh! Glory to God!
Thank you, Heavenly Father
for your God-breathed word
as simple to understand
as a child understands
his mother’s love.
 
It has been,
and forever will be,
my counselor,
my comforter,
my food,
my drink,
and light to my path,
 
I tremble to think
where I would be today
if I could not trust You
to say what You mean
and to mean what You say.

3 comments:

Richard Maffeo said...

I received this email in my personal inbox. Because I think the writer speaks so well to the problem many of us have in our churches, I asked her if I could re-post it here. I have her permission:
-------------
Thank you so much for today’s words. I could have written the same questions...the Bible is picked apart in so many discussions and I for one do get confused about which parts are stories (as some people and clergy seem to offer their interpretations) and which parts are not...but, then I choose to trust in the One that is so trustworthy, until it is brought up again. Your e-mail today was so life-giving.
Thanks again Rich,

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. As I sit in church or in my room by myself, I wonder, "What is wrong with me that I should have doubts when no one else does?" Thank you for showing me I am not alone, and true faith means persevering in spite of fear or confusion. And it seems my greatest moments of intimacy with God occur after my biggest moments of doubt.

Richard Maffeo said...

Anonymous, I am so grateful for your response. Yours, and the one before you, illustrate how deep and wide-spread is that tendency toward doubt. Please become convinced of this: Those doubts are born from the bowels of hell itself, to depress us, to get us off the journey. One of my favorite passages I memorized a long time ago is from Romans 8:31-39 . . . especially focused on verse 38. Another great passage of promise in in John 17:23 in which we are told the Father loves YOU and me JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES JESUS.

Wow. Just think what that means. The Father in heaven loves YOU with the same intensity and passion as He loves His only begotten Son.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.