If you are looking for my blog titled, The Contemplative Catholic Convert, you are at the right spot.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Bang, Bang. You're Dead

I wrote this more than 20 years ago. Its memory resurfaced a few days ago and I thought to update it and post it here.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church: The message of the Last Judgment calls men to conversion while God is still giving them "the acceptable time . . . the day of salvation." It inspires a holy fear of God . . . . (paragraph 1041)
Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve. (Joshua 24:15)
Exhaustion swept over me. It had been a long day at Disneyland with my young children, and I looked forward to plopping into bed at our motel room down the street. As we stood on the corner waiting for the light to change, a red convertible raced passed us and someone on the passenger side shot at me from a high-pressure water rifle. I looked up in time to hear my assailant shout, "Bang, Bang. You’re dead."
It happened so quickly I never had time to think about ducking for cover and protecting my kids. For a moment I stood motionless and incredulous. Did that really happen? Did he really shoot me? I looked at my shirt. Yes, he did. I'm soaked.
Several emotions suddenly swelled within me. None were very kind. I clenched my fists and glared at the tail lights disappearing into the collage of vehicles now at the other end of the block. I considered giving chase, but realized I'd never outrun them, and besides, I didn't know what I would have done if I caught up with the guy – or what he might have further done to me if I had.  So I stood there, fuming and frustrated - until the full weight of what could have happened settled over me. When it did, anger gave way to fear. My shirt could be saturated with my blood instead of water. I rubbed my hand across my chest. I could be lying dead on the pavement.
And then, inexplicably, as I stood there on the corner, the oddest sense of peace settled over me. No, “peace” does not faithfully describe the emotion that flooded into my mind. Comfort is a better word. Or maybe assurance.
Let me explain.
Many years ago I made a disturbing discovery about myself. Through a series of unhappy events I came face to face with the truth that my life was a cacophony of excuses and lies, of tragic rebellion, selfishness, and arrogance. I cringed at who I really was and how many people I had hurt.
However, at the same time I made another discovery. Despite my sin, God loved me. Despite my willful defiance, God offered me forgiveness. Despite my rebellion He offered me a new relationship - as of a son with a Father. All I had to do was take the first step and repent – apologize to Him for my many sin – ask Him to forgive me, and invite Jesus Christ to be Lord of my life. I could hardly believe it all could be true.
But it was.
In December 1972 I took that step, and God opened for me the floodgates of His love. I knew instinctively and intuitively He’d forgiven me for every terrible thing I’d ever done. In that single moment He wiped the slate of my past absolutely clean, adopted me into His great Family and made me His child. He promised I would never be alone in my heartaches because He would be with me wherever I am and through whatever I must endure. But perhaps best of all, He gave me His unalterable oath that when my life on earth is over, I will live with Him in His eternal kingdom.
Had that water been lead, I would have awakened in a place where there is no more death, no more tears, no more heartache, no more fear, no more separation, no more loss.

It’s been said, "Life is fragile, handle with prayer." God used a street corner “wet-down” to sharpen my focus. A drive-by shooting, an accidental fall . . . death can strike in an instant. I am grateful to Him that I do not have to worry about making last-moment decisions about eternity.


Anonymous said...

when I remember past words from the Lord, it is like receiving the message all over again because it is still fresh and alive

Rich Maffeo said...

Yes, that is so very true.