If you are looking for my blog titled, The Contemplative Catholic Convert, you are at the right spot.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Here I Am Again

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

I awoke this morning feeling a little guilty for the time I wasted last night watching a ‘blood, guts, and gore’ Netflix movie. It overflowed with gratuitous bloodshed.

Sometimes when I get to feeling sorry for myself, or simply lazy, I like to plop down in front of the TV and put myself on auto drive. I realized this morning I’ve been doing that a lot lately – especially my decisions to watch a violent or otherwise worthless movie.

So, I apologized to the Lord. It is not the first time He and I have had this little talk. Little wonder to me why I am very grateful for His longsuffering patience.

The need to apologize and promise to not do it again off my chest, I opened the scriptures for my daily morning read. I turned to the 24th chapter of Matthew where I’d left off the day before. Verses 42-51 talk about being always on the alert, looking for the Master. Waiting for Him. Scanning the horizon for Him.

Chapter 24 moves seamlessly into 25. The first verses talk about the 10 virgins. The next part talks about the three servants who’d been loaned their master’s property.

Of the ten sleepy virgins, five were wise and kept their lamps ready. Five were foolish and let them die out. Of the three who received their master’s property, two used their time and talents wisely. One did not. Read chapter 25 to find out what happened in each example. 

It is not at all coincidental that the very moment I finished apologizing to the Lord for again wasting time, He had already orchestrated my daily journey through the scriptures to read those chapters of Matthew.

I don’t believe the Holy Spirit was threatening me with rejection. I am more secure in my relationship with Him than to fear that. But I DO consider those two chapters as a serious warning from Him.

Why do I still waste precious hours of my fleeting life, day after day after week after month, year by year, on things that can neither satisfy my heart nor feed my hungry spirit?

I’d like to think this is the last time He and I need to have this same conversation.


Barb Schoeneberger said...

Sometimes we need time to decompress in order to recharge our batteries. Recreation - re-creation - is designed into every day in monastic and religious life. So also is time for meditation and adoration. I think that St. Benedict's Rule is great for teaching us moderation and balance.

Of course, too much TV isn't good. And I really hate violence, blood and guts so I don't watch that kind of thing. But what I do watch is always being judged against what God has taught us. I look for Him in everything, and most often, I am seeing how His absence from people's lives in the plots accentuates the terrible brokenness throughout all history and cultures.

Rich Maffeo said...

I agree we need time for re-creation. But the kind of re-creation is important. That is why I plopped (and plop) down in front of the TV -- to unwind. Nothing wrong with that . . . but the amount of TIME I spend is, I think, a waste of precious hours I can never recover.
As you said, balance is the key term. I need to re-find it.